JESSICA

There is a god... Latest news... Jessica Simpson and Nick are through and she's back on the market boys...

Blond, hot, rich, young, famous, nice rack and a nice ass... Not a catch many would throw back into the sea... (Can't wait till the home movies hit the net!)... and we also know from her TV show that she will dress up as a $2 prostitute to "entertain" her hubby, and that's gotta add a few points!

This also makes that threesome so many guys dream about (Jessica, Ashley and you) suddenly a remote possibility... I stress... "remote".

In related news I have sold everything I own and am heading to LA to find Jessica... I'm coming baby!!!!

In other related news my wife is now looking for a new husband/father...

A further developing story... Local man tries to have boot removed from ass and bitch slap marks removed from face after posting some foolish shit about Jessica Simpson on the internet.

And this just in... Jessica Simpson's lawyers have had a restraining order issued against a 30 something year old man from Canada who sold everything and moved to LA to find her. He is described as very handsome, roughly 6', 200 lbs, walks like he has a boot up his ass and has the imprint of an open hand on his right cheek.

Really, she's nice to look at, but as dumb as dirt, and really can't dance. I could put up with the looks and IQ, but not the inability to dance!

Gratuitous hot chick
(Jessica... she does look a little wacko in the last one... oh well...)